Aging requires some thought

[bctt tweet=”What will your Leavings’, when you are gone?” username=”KoyamaRuth”]I wrote this on my author blog but thought it might bear repeating here.


As I write my next book – Clean Your House Before You Leave– I wonder about what it is  that we should leave.  We all leave something behind, good or bad.  I am sure we all wish that what we do leave behind is good and something others will value.

The age old consideration of what you leave behind is good memories.  Memories of you that your family hold close to their hearts.  Well if that is the case then perhaps we should start to cultivate those memories so that will grow and out live us.

With the busy lives we all live at times it is diffucult for us to even consider what our Leavings’ will or could be.  Our kids are gown and have their own busy lives.  Our grandchildren also have so much going on that just find a time in their busy schedule is next to impossible.

I am reminded of this and what we will leave behind because I feel that some where along the way my granddaughter have cultivated an almost private type relationship.  A relationship that I hope will be a leaving she will cherish.


The picture may be a little out of date and blurry but it reminds of her looking back into the sun to see if I was still there.  Hopefully she will feel I always!cropped-SAM_0633-e1448483860323.jpg

She doesn’t live close to us and getting to see her is a challenge, so we have to use the telephone as our method of communicating.  Which may not seem like much on the surface.   How can a telephone call leave much in the way of memories?  Heck we talk on the phone and half of what we talk about is forgotten the minute we hang up.

And that is probably true, what is different with my Granddaughter is that I have become her chore time partner.  Like many children she has things she is responsible for doing at home, clean her room, fold her laundry, take the dog for a walk, sweep the floor and the list goes on. Since she doesn’t like doing those things alone, she calls Grandma and with the phone on handsfree we talk.  Well a lot of times I just listen as she goes on about her day, her friends, her school.  We even discuss what her Mom did at her age, what I did at her age.  So the conversation provides me with updates on her life and of course all the things she thinks her parents are being unfair about.  My job here is just to let her vent and not take sides. Somewhere in the conversation I attempt to help her see things from a different perspective, being careful not impose my own thoughts  on her.

In addition to those topics of conversation we talk about my family.  Since I was 14 years younger than my closest sibling most of them a have already left us.  She is naturally curious about them and what my life was like growing up as pretty much an only child.  She herself is an only child as is her mother and this piques her curiosity even more.

My point here is that with these long conversations I am hoping that my leavings’ will be the memory of these conversations. Not necessarily the conversations or even what we talked but just the memory of her being able to call Grandma when ever she was bored, or when she had to do mundane chores and just knowing I would be there for her.  And for me the memory that she called me!

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