My how times have changed and we need to keep up!

A music channel the other day was playing a song titled “forty and fading”.   It was recorded in the 50’s when many of us now Oldies were young.  It was both amusing and disconcerting.  I can’t imagine anyone today thinking of fading in their forties.  Many would say that they are in the prime of their life.

One might say I’m 40 and what have I done, while another might say I’m forty and look what I’ve done!

I know two men in their 40’s who expressed each of those thoughts.  Oddly enough both have good jobs, and both were just starting their MBA.  One is excited about where it will take him in the future.  The other is concerned that by the time he is through the courses and gets his degree, he will be too old to benefit from it. It will be interesting to see where these thoughts take both of them when they join the fifty plus group.

My thoughts were taken to those of use who are passed the 50 plus group.  Even we can not give up on keeping educated.  Education that ends with a graduation, no longer means you are finished.  No matter what your you need to keep learning.

With the constant change in even our basic technology, if we don’t keep learning as we age the day could come when we are no longer able to make a phone call.  Just consider in the past  60 years.  We have gone from one phone in the hallway that you listen to the ring tone to know if was for your home.  Where today, you carry your personal phone in your pocket and pick the ringtone you want to hear.

Phones nowadays are more than just a phone; there are so many apps available you are virtually carrying around you home and office in your pocket.  Now from your phone, you have not only your friends and family numbers and email addresses, but you’ve also got their pictures, and if one of them decides to come over for dinner you’ve got an app to get a recipe and grocery list to make it.

For the office/work, you’ve got your bosses email just in case on the way to work you decide you need to take a personal day you can let them know.  Also, if you want to get you timesheet submitted or finish a report you can do so on the phone and email.

For us oldies, just keeping all that straight can be a challenge and when they find more things for it to do we had better have been keeping up with it by constantly educating ourselves.

Along with every change in tangible things comes a change in perspective.

 

Children Face More Stress Today

Our children  face more stress than we could ever imagine.

There seem to be more bullies today, which when my children or I went to elementary school.  Oh, I can remember kids that didn’t like other kids.  Kids that said unkind things to other kids, but nowadays they seem to have to take just the little bit farther.  The old “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is just that “old”.   The words are harsher and do hurt, the stick and stones become steel rods and rocks.

It is important to listen when children talk

When I listen to my granddaughter talk about what this boy or girl did or said at school I just cringe.  I worry about how all of this affects her emotionally.  I know my daughter, and her husband do whatever they can to provide her with a safe open environment.  And my husband and I often reminded her that she can talk to us if mommy or daddy are not available for whatever reason, and tell us if something is not right at school or when playing with friends or if she even thinks someone is bullying her.At six, she is pretty candid about what goes on.  She has no problem telling me things daddy or mommy might have done that contradict what I might have told her.  So that is not my main concern.  What I do worry about are things that happen that she does not share or talk about because they touch her sole not her conscious mind but her subconscious.

Guiding them through what they perceive to be good and helping them understand the unspoken nuances is critical

I recall the day she called and told me … Grandma, I think I’m popular!  I said… oh and what makes you think that?   She replied well everyone at school smiles when they see me even the teacher, and they come to talk to me all the time.

Great you might think, what a confident little girl.  I agree she is, but there had been other times when something strange has happened, and she didn’t quite know how to handle it.

But I could tell something was stressing her and she didn’t know how to articulate it.Image1166

 

She started by not wanting to go somewhere or talk to someone she had always played with.  She never said anything outwardly but just small comments like,  I’d rather not go there today, I think maybe their busy so I should stay home, can I just go to my room and play when then come, I’m tired.  Turned out the old girl of this friend would say she was the boss because she was older and when her younger brother and my granddaughter did something she considered as bad she would make them pull down their pants, and she would smack them.  That was the punishment her parents handed out, and I’m not saying it is right or wrong.  It is not the punished used in my granddaughter’s environment, and I don’t’ think that was the issue.

 

Stress is often not visible, especially in children.

The real issue came from the fact, once we got the facts, was that my granddaughter has been taught that someone older should be listened to because they would know  better about handling some situations.  It was meant to cover things like “you shouldn’t jump off that you could get hurt”  “you are too young to watch this show,” “don’t push, it isn’t nice.”

So, although what the girl did make her uncomfortable, she was not sure it was something she could talk about.  Thankfully we prodded enough to get to the bottom of the issue.

Actions like these can be dangerous and children need to know the difference between good intentions and mean spiritedness.  Stress in this form can cause more problems when children are unaware of the difference.

 

That situation made me wonder about the many things like this that could happen and be missed even by very attentive parents.

 

So not to belabor the point I discovered this book and considering that since her parents read to her every night before bed I thought it could be just the solution to my concern without being obvious or causing her more stress by making it a front of mind issue.

And I thought you might also know someone it could help as well.

 

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Aging happens no matter what, why hurry the process

How you age is up to you.

 

How we age really comes down to how we live. Unlike our parents, the aging process is something we’ve come to realize is more up to us than a result of pure genetics. Yes, genetics play a big part on how we look physically, but they are not the only source of how we look as we age. These days there are many options available to lessen the physical effects of aging, even so, there are things that we do that can cause us to age more rapidly.

Smoking is no longer COOL- Some get it, some don’t, or maybe they just won’t until it’s too late.

So why do we still help rush the process!

 

In a time when looking old is one of the most feared effects of aging it seems ridiculous that there are those of us who continue to live with little care of their future health. They continued to smoke even after the deadly effects of it were told loud and clear. The effects of aging now show on their faces, mostly as deep lines around the eyes and lips for some reason.

 

Then there are the sun lovers, tanned bodies being a must. Days in the sun also seem to increase the aging process. Once again the results of long periods of tanning show on the face as we age.

Excessive alcohol consumption also increases the visible effects of aging. Veins in the nose become more prominent. The redness of cheek is no longer purposeful application of blush.

Knowing negative effects of smoking, drinking and sun tanning makes one wonder why we would willing do the things that will not only damage our health but our appearance when we all wish to NOT LOOK OLD!

Aging well takes work. Are your doing your job?