The Conversation will occur, why not start it

Where do you want to spend your retirement? How do you want to spend your retirement?

When we wait too long to tell our family what our plans are, often they are the ones doing the… Click To Tweet

Whether you are 50, 60 and yes possibly even  70 and still working, the subject of retirement has probably come up. If you are already retired then the topic of what you are going to do as you get older will dominate.  Regardless of which it is this conversation is one that really needs to happen. But it is a  conversation that will go better if you are the one to start it.

The best time of times happen when planned.

When I wrote the book about
helping aging parents I really wasn’t thinking of myself or my own need to have the conversation. I would guess that most of you also don’t believe that the conversation is needed at this moment. Well, I think we are both wrong. The conversation will be needed, and for my part, I would rather be the instigator than feeling I am be conspired against. I also think that the older we get the more we are likely to feel the latter.

When we wait too long to tell our family what our plans are, often they are the ones doing the planning.   We recently put our big house in the country up for sale, knowing it would take some time to sell.  In doing so we didn’t really discuss what our plan would be, especially with our granddaughter.  So the other day when she called she asked when we were moving and she wanted to give her thoughts on where we should move to.  I told her it would not be for some time as we didn’t think it would be for quite awhile.  Her solution was simple, she had it all planned.  We should just abandon the house, take some of the things we really wanted and move into her parent’s basement.  We could stay there until we were old enough, say 90, and then move into the old peoples lodge down the road from her.  Did I mention she’s 12?   I realized then that our plan to sell our house was just one step and that a more thought out plan needed to be determined and shared.  It was the lack of sharing a plan that seemed to be the cause of her making a plan for us.

So whether or not this is the type of conversation that occurs you will need to make plans for your future.

For many making plans could be a simple as moving from a remote area to one with more amenities.  For others, it is moving closer to family, as seemed to be our granddaughter’s plan for us.  I know of some whose plans are to move to another country where the cost of living is cheaper.  And although you may not be making plans to put up roots and plant them somewhere else, I’m pretty sure that if you start the conversation, someone is sure to chime in.  While planning is one thing actually creating a plan is yet another.  Plans of this nature become even more challenging the older you get.  Plans to move to another country when you are in your 50s look a lot different than when you are in your 60s.  Now consider what that might look like when you are in your 70’s?   It is not too far-fetched for someone that age to get up and move.  Why?  Because so many people now in their 70’s have just as much get up go as they had in their 60’s.  Remember we are living longer, healthier and have the mindset of age is a just number.  A number that we are no longer letting define us.  But it would be fool hardy to make any significant move with out a well thought out plan.  In doing so the conversation will be quite a different one.

While planning is one thing actually creating a plan is yet another.  Plans of this nature become even more challenging the older you get.  Plans to move to another country when you are in your 50s look a lot different than when you are in your 60s.  Now consider what that might look like when you are in your 70’s?   It is not too far-fetched for someone that age to get up and move.  Why?  Because so many people now in their 70’s have just as much get up go as they had in their 60’s.  Remember we are living longer, healthier and have the mindset of age is a just number.  A number that we are no longer letting define us.  But it would be fool hardy to make any significant move with out a well thought out plan.  In doing so the conversation will be quite a different one.

When we have done so, even if not everyone agrees, we can say, here is our plan.  Now let’s get this discussion over with so we can get on with taking the next step in our plan to live life on our own terms.

 

 

 

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